oldtobey

I Am Become DAD

2008-03-18T23:30:02Z

I have reached a milestone, the first of many, in my journey of fatherhood. My son has a problem with his BM's. He can go for a while before he has one. When he finally does he often fills his drawers with a ton of hot mustard from hell. I find myself concerned waiting for these occasions, and relieved and proud when they do. Proud of poop. How the mighty have fallen.

On the upside, I have begun moving more of my belongings into TL's place. I feel comfortable here now. I feel comfortable with her. I feel comfortable with our son. I'm still a bit skiddish, but in moments of optimism, I think this could be a really good life. Maybe the axiom is true: when you stop looking for something it comes to you. I've thought I was doing the right thing before, only to have it blow up in my face. I'm 37, and I doubt I have come anywhere close to harmony in my life, but it hasn't destroyed hope. Maybe there is a chance to find balance by giving my all in this situation.

Thinking big lately

2008-01-31T03:10:57Z

I've found myself staring at my son as I hold him. The concept of life seems really simple: sperm meets egg, add food and sufficient gestation; serves two. My belief is that a person is born, builds its consciousness, and releases it upon death to degrees of success varying with experience and strength of personality. Religious? No. Hokey? Possibly. It is so important to me to give my son everything I possibly can. I still feel kind of scared of failure, but there's nothing else for it but to do everything I can do and hope it is enough. He's great. I can't wait until he's old enough to give daddy hugs and kisses. I can't wait until his awareness builds enough so that he can smile at me as a reaction to me, rather than recent gastric venting. I don't have any expectations as to the kinds of things he will accomplish, but I want to see them happen. I understand that my relationship with him will change several times in his life. I realize there will be a lot of trying times, but that's true of nearly every journey I can think of. He has already given me a great gift: purpose.

The Road Ahead

2007-10-31T03:53:43Z

I've been living at Terry-lynn's for about a month now. Strangely, we really haven't lived 'together' yet. My first week here I was more or less wrapped up in Pure Spec. We were both here the Monday night, then she went into hospital on Tuesday. She had a brief stay at home that Friday night, but really we've been visiting in her hospital room. This hasn't worked out at all like we had hoped. I go to the hospital every day, but some nights I just need to stay home to take care of things around here, or just to shut off for a while. I miss having down time. Some days I miss it a lot. It's the sign of things to come though. I'll never get down time from being 'dad'.

Along those lines, I'm having to reconnect with the whole 'fatherhood' sitch. It's like not having a mother-to-be living with me has made it seem less a reality. I see Terry-lynn in hospital, I know there is a child on the way, but there isn't a strong connection in my head: our child is coming and we will be a family. When I allow myself to focus on that I can imagine scenes in our future. Playing, scolding, watching with pride. There are still dark corners of my mind where self doubt awaits, but that's okay. A little self doubt will inspire self examination. I need to keep striving to improve myself. This little one is going to be very important in my life. I hope I can return the favour. I hope the little pup likes storytime.

Captain's Log, Stardate:10709.26

2007-09-27T02:05:38Z

I am finally leaving St. Albert. I plan to be living Chez Terry-lynn by Stardate: 10710.03. It is going to be strange living in a place with someone other than family again. Strangely, I will find myself enjoying fewer freedoms than what I have now.

I'm going to be a Dad. Anyone who read my post called The Greatest Responsibility will know how I felt about that. It still feels like a huge undertaking. More,I think,than I might be able to rise to. Remarkably, I'm not as freaked out as I was when I wrote the post, or when I first found out about it. I'm nervous, yes. I seldom notice a moment of the day that I'm not considering it in some form. But there is no more terror associated with it. I guess the understanding of its inevitability was the crucial catalyst to prepare me. My family is excited and supportive, yet I think that even if they were critical and abusive I wouldn't be let down. Those friends I value most have shown me yet again how incredibly fortunate I am they are in my life. Their support and enthusiasm is inspiring. I am looking forward to holding my son or daughter like nothing else in my life until now. I'd like to thank those people, and I hope you know all know who you are.

Captain's Log Stardate: 10706.09

2007-06-09T21:03:37Z

I have finally completed my LOTR sword collection. I found an Anduril scabbard on ebay and won the bid. I received it about a month ago now, and that completes the blades attributable to Aragorn (the theme of my collection). I am continuing on to other types of swords. I have a replica of the sword carried by the Operative from Serenity, and just this week I picked up a carbon steel replica of a Roman Gladiator sword. It is pretty cool! I look forward to putting and edge on it. It feels interesting to hold it because it is a practical sword. A weapon.
I've held a gun before. . .and fired it. It was fascinating from a technological point of view, but the thought of owning one has no interest for me. A gun feels like a tool, for which I have no use. I have fired a bow, and find that to be a skill that gives me satisfaction to develop, but there aren't many places to practise in the Edmonton area, and those that exist don't particularly enthrall me for one reason or another. A sword is really the perfect weapon.
A sword's design is inspiring. It can be used to kill; it can be used to block and defend. It is a skill that must be developed and nurtured, in its use and manufacture. It can be designed for specific combat, or created to the very heights of artistic genius. Nearly every culture on Earth has some form or sword to revere. Large or small, elegant or brutal, they are all interesting to me.

Also, I finally picked up my Clan kilt last weekend. I planned its inaugural wearing for L&A's wedding. I have tried on the whole ensemble once, and I like the feel of it. Kilts are great! I need to see if I can find a good belt to set off the outfit though, the one I have is good, but not great.

I am watching the calendar waiting for my trip to the island. It will be beautiful, especially if the weather cooperates. I am probably going to have to cut the trip down though. I am anticipating a time quite soon when my money will but focused on more important things than travel and frivolity.

For now, I am happy. I love my parents, but I look forward to being under my own roof again. Work has been fairly fulfilling this week, and I have been able to see friends and family. A woman working at one of the businesses I was renovating this week actually propositioned me yesterday. I think in my general obliviousness to such things I may have fumbled on the proper social graces of such a situation, but it really took me by suprise. I'm pretty sure I didn't cause offense though, so I'm proud of that at least.
I've been trying to go for walks on the weekends. I used to go for walks a lot when I lived in Ded Reer, but I have allowed my time to be gobbled up by increasing amounts of "life stuff" here in Edmonton so I've kind of fallen out of the habit. I've missed them. They can be quite fufilling. Gotta go. Guy-with-truck to the rescue again!

Monique 2 Leukemia 0

2007-05-19T03:15:15Z

I found out today that once again my friend Monique is in remission from her leukemia. She sent out a number of e-mails over her treatments and the latest one came today, proclaiming her victory. She never once let on that she may have had doubt, fear, or anger. She proved once again that she will be the person she is, regardless of what life throws in her path. You have inspired me with your heroism, Monique. If ever I find myself in a situation like that, I hope I can prove as worthy as you. Tuskaha! Can't wait to quaff a few with you this summer!

Meme too!

2007-05-13T18:28:31Z

Captain's Log, Stardate 10704.30

2007-05-01T02:37:52Z

I went to the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo yesterday. What an awesome time! I made the trip down with Argent_Bear on Saturday night, and we hooked up with some Calgary Browncoats. They were fine friendly folk, and we had a great visit. The Bear and I had a short sleep then lined up early to get grab bags and a quicker perusal of the merchants.

They had signed some pretty good guests. The main draw for me was Robert Picardo. I got him to sign my copy of 'Legend' in which he plays Meg Mucklebones the Swamp Witch. I got a photo op too. Argent_Bear wanted autographs and a photo op with Morena Baccarin (Inara Serra from 'Firefly' and 'Serenity') and Christina Hendricks (Saphron from 'Firefly'). I agreed to take the pic, and never let it be said I'm not a good wingman. I waited until he was in position with the ladies before turning on the camera, and then had "trouble" getting photo ready. A few more breathless seconds in the company of such lovely ladies.

Also present were Ray Park (Darth Maul from 'Star Wars' and Toad from 'X-Men'), and Lou Ferrigno (TV's Hulk). Argent_Bear and I met up with L&M&little B, and L got an autograph and photo op with Ray Park.

There were a lot of people in costume. Some were just folks having some fun, and some costumes were definately the work of dedication and passion. Darth Vader, several Stormtroopers, a pair of Boba Fetts (one of which was so good it looked like it could have come straight from the movie), and even a Tuskin Raider. I also saw a few costumes from the new Battlestar Galactica, which were pretty cool. We got some photos with a few of these proud specimens of geekdom.

The high point of the day was the Star Panel, which starred Robert Picardo, Morena Baccarin, and Ray Park. Ray Park showed up a little late because there were so many people in line for his autograph that he wanted to get everyone in. Robert Picardo seems like a very funny and gracious man. He seems to genuinely understand the importance people place on him through his characters, and he behaves accordingly. Ray Park was also very comical, and very gracious, especially when one of the audience asked him to do some tricks with a replica lightsaber. He seemed a bit uncomfortable to do it, but he did anyway. Morena Baccarin seemed very focused, not very much like the personality we see on 'Done The Impossible', but as the sci-fi babe of the show, she may also have had some rather exhausting attention from many of the assembled geeks. Most of the questions the stars were asked were pretty good. I learned something about each of them, and some things about he biz. There were a couple of questions that came from that geek subculture we all get embarrased about: the guys who strive so hard to know all that is knowable that they lose sight of the fact that these are people whose job it is to entertain us. The stars responded with understanding, stating that many geeks know more about their characters and shows than they do. Morena Baccarin stated simply that she didn't like to watch herself, and that she often couldn't remember many of the elements of the episodes. I had wanted to ask Robert Picardo to say the line, "Foul-tasting Fairies", as his character in 'Legend', but after seeing that it might be an imposition, and realizing he may not even remember how he delivered the line, I was glad I didn't.

Argent_Bear and I had a great time, and we bought some treasures. Not too much, but I acquired enough to enrich my Geekly Hoarde, and properly commemorate the event. I do have to make a trip to Happy Harbor soon to look into some geek artifacts I found intriguing. Argent_Bear? Worstninja? Do I have your support??

Serenity

2007-04-25T00:28:27Z

I have a friend named Monique who lives in Vancouver. I've known her since high school. She's been a bit of a wild child, definately been a free spirit, and always been a good friend. About four years ago, we were all shocked by the news that she had leukemia. She fought it. And won. Shortly afterward she suffered a stroke. She now has a condition that sometimes causes her to go through seizures. She is quite the world traveller as well. She used to work for Canadian Airlines, and for Air Canada afterward, so she has been to a lot of places. I found out some news to day that makes me think of the Serenity Prayer.

Grant me the strength to change the things I can,
The serenity to accept the things I can't,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Monique has learned her leukemia has returned. The treatments she went through last time weren't successful, obviously, so she has to undergo more invasive procedures. She told us that she has already shaved her head, and that she is ready to do battle again. She believes this time she will finish it. I am very hopeful, as one can be when he has enjoyed the company of someone so strong as Monique has proven herself to be time and again. That strength allowed her to change things once already. And it is an axiom of life that change is the only constant. You see? The laws of the universe are on her side.

Then and Now

2007-04-23T00:45:36Z

In nighted slumber my love lies forgotten.
No muse see I to cleanse my fouled heart.
And now is love in me at last forsaken
Then Cupid dies, and tarnished stands his art.

But is this life a waste if solitary?
For once I yearned to savour love's allure
But age to wisdom leads and I am learning,
That youth loves all but age loves only pure.

This cynicism poisons my fair state.
To shed my proved armour, feeling frail;
But free of fetters, calm makes fear abate,
And freed, my soul will deeply drink love's grail.

If gladened mortal souls change Ones to Twos,
The prize of woman won, I'd rather lose.

When I wrote this I was very much an angry young man. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I couldn't seem to attract an SO, and when I did, I couldn't seem to make it work. I know why that was now. Now, I just don't know why it is. I'm single. That doesn't feel scary now. It did then. I have more than I did then. I'm not talking about the material stuff here. I have more to share with an SO now, I think. Ironically I don't feel the need to have an SO to share it with. I have friends and family, and in small ways, each of them in their turn, is like an SO. I may be doing without the physical intimacy, but how important is that, really? In it's best form, the act of love is the purest expression of the emotion of love. If you feel that kind of love. But there are many kinds of love to be experienced . . .

There's a lot of this going around

2007-04-17T23:17:17Z

Create your own Friend Test here

I saw a bear do this. . .

2007-04-12T03:13:56Z

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The "Life" Serial

2007-04-11T05:05:27Z

My mom went to the Miz for her hip-replacement surgery. She was supposed to be home Wednesday, but she has run into some complications, perhaps the result of her pain meds, which should increase her stay until at least Friday. I was finally able to see her tonight because I had to go to Edson at stupid o'clock Monday morning and didn't get back until 5:00 today. The surgery was a success, but she is in pain, she is nauseous, and she is really freakin' tired! Hospitals are really hard to sleep in for her, the constant activity keeps her up.
My grandpa finally moved into the new wing of his nursing home. The old dorm was more like a dungeon, but the new place is bright and cheery. Each resident gets a little showcase in the hall outside their room for the display of important little knick knacks. My mom came up with the idea of getting a model of the lumber truck my grandpa used to drive years ago. We found a Kenworth model, and I doctored it up with my dremel and an old black and white picture to look pretty close to the old truck my grandpa drove. He loved it, and all the pictures my mom put in there as well.
The folks in my life are getting older. My grandmas aren't as mobile as they once were, and my grandpa is in a home, and not quite himself anymore. My mom's hip had to be replaced, and we still haven't learned why she would fall forward while walking and land face first. She wouldn't even bring up her hands to stop herself. Also my dad has been stumbling going up the stairs. He tromps up the stairs quickly, and I think his reflexes to get his feet up in time to hit each stair are getting slower. Everyone else seems to accept their changes and move accordingly, but my dad isn't. I'm worried he may hurt himself. And his hypoglycemia has brought him home from work early, ashen grey and listless, on at least two occasions. I love being able to help my mom and my grandparents. It's a way to give back for the love and help I have always received from them. But my dad doesn't accept help, or at least not without protest. I'm kind of worried where that will lead.
I was able to see the mountains today. They were way off, and I couldn't stare at them too long, but they were there, and In July, I'll be there too.

The Greatest Responsibility

2007-03-27T01:50:10Z

I have been reading the posts on Shiny_Gal's journal. The entry that was the most profound to me was the one about her friend struggling with the decision to become a father under less-than-stellar circumstances, or to release the child from a very possibly troubled life, and live with regret. I haven't experienced his circumstances, but I have been in that positon. . .twice. Once a long time ago, with a woman who was my fiance at the time, and once not so long ago, with a woman who was my wife at the time. Both times, we made the decision to keep the child. I say "we", but in truth, I feel the choice and final say is more with the mother-to-be than the father-to-be. It is she who must carry the child, suffer the inconvieniences, the discomfort, and in some cases, the personal risk. But both times, after the decision was made it was our child. That said, both times I learned where the final say truly lies. Fate said 'no' both times.
It worked out for the best, I suppose; I am no longer with either woman. The miscarriage had no bearing on the breakup with my ex-fiance, but the miscarriage was apparently a key catalyst in the breakup with my ex-wife. Actually, it had to do more specifically with my reaction to the miscarriage. I believe every situation we encounter carries with it an opportunity to learn. This also creates in me a less-defined belief that many things happen for a reason.
The first time I was part of a pregnancy it was for the wrong reasons, I'm sure I knew that even then. That made it clear. Something was misplaced, and this was the natural conclusion. I met up with her years later and she had two boys, but she was no longer with the father. Clearly, Fate felt better about that union.
The second time, it was for the right reasons. I'm sure I was taking on the right responsibility. I was unsure and afraid of my ability to be a good father, but I was going to see it through. I had a life partner. It wasn't perfect, but I was with someone who was a lot like me. We were the same type of person. Fate's decision didn't sit well with her. I tried to comfort her with the possibilty that something was simply out of place. I joked that the child was just like its father, it had forgotten something and had to go back to get it. We had to keep trying and help each other, and we would have our child, one way or another. She thought I was cold because I didn't want to grieve the loss of a person. Someone we would never meet. I always thought our child was ours, we just had to embrace the correct form that child would come to us. Whether it was attempt #5, or adoption, the child that came to us was the child we were meant to have. She felt the loss more than I did, because the idea of a child is more real to her than it is to me. I needed something sensual to make it real to me. The knowledge of a small cell cluster in my wife's body that shared half its chromosomes with me was a concept, not a child. I needed a swollen belly, an ultrasound, something appealing to at least one of my senses. Something that told me beyond a shadow of doubt that I was truly to be a father. Is that denial?? Was I so scared of being a bad father that I wanted to hide from the possibility as long as I could?? Or was it some other reason or collection of reasons that was making me demand clinical proof that I had to belt up and become responsible for a life.
And really, that's it isn't it. Father. Mother. They are both job titles. The one and only job description: responsible for a life. That is what scares me so bad. If I go to install a plug and it ends up being half an inch shorter that the others in the room it's no big deal. As long as the others aren't close to it, no one can tell until they put a ruler to it. But if I fall short on my child, it can affect them in ways I can't forsee. All my friends have told me of hardships they went through dealing with their parents, and I know that hardships are as much strengths as talent and skills, but nothing can comfort a parent that feels the pain of that sort of regret. I am pro-choice, but I wonder now if that is for the child's benefit, or for the indulgence of my insecurity in the face of failings. Both times the decision loomed, my opinion given was to keep the baby. That said, Fate's veto was not unwelcome either time. Thanks, Fate. Lesson learned.
I went over to visit K,K&A last night and witnessed the commitment those two parents have for their child. I have seen a guy I grew up with and his wife care for their son with equal devotion. In many ways he embodies the archetype of what I aspire to today almost as much as when we were in high school. He is a pillar of strength to me. I can see now that he is not perfect, but he still shines pretty bright. These are good parents of the modern generation. I am happy to watch as their beautiful children grow into their gifts and astonish us all with what they can do. I respect Shiny_Gal's friend's choice. I don't know his reasons, but it was a hard choice for him to face, and if he wanted the child and knew he had a deep commitment like my friends, then his strength is profound indeed.

A Vacation From Myself

2007-03-06T02:37:52Z

Every once in a while, I like to imagine myself in certain situations. They can be as crazy as living the life of a gentleman spy, or as benign as counting down the days until I go on a camping trip. It is complete fiction, but I allow my feelings carte blanche and just see where they take me. I suppose it is a hold over from my childhood. I can remember my imagination being so vivid when I was of single-digit age that my daydreams felt almost like out-of-body experiences. A bit frightening really ,now that I look back on it. At times I truly regret losing my imagination at that level, but I console myself with the knowledge that my adult brain has the ability to more deeply reflect on what my imagination conjures. Of course, it is this self-same condition that has dulled the intensity of my imagination in the first place. Ah well, perhaps as my mind feebles with advanced age I will regain it again. For now all things are so.

Today, I allowed my mind to wander on the idea of being stricken with fatal illness. (Yes, it's morbid and a little twisted, just indulge me a moment.) The first thoughts that flooded in were of doing interesting things like visiting Vancouver Island in summer, barhopping in Scotland, learning Mandarin Chinese, studying the Tao Te Ching. Of course I know I can do many of those things any time I want, but for some reason they seemed more vivid and special because they were activities persued with the desperate longing of a very finite existence. I guess that's why I do it. It's always so hard to remember one's blessings.

I have a book of the Tao Te Ching I bought from Victoria. I have only glanced through the pages. I still have my workbook and texts from when I tried to study Mandarin a few years ago. I am planning to go to Victoria this summer. These are all things I really want to do. Living every day with the desperate longing of one with a very finite existence? That'll take some work. A lot of work. I think I'll start reading my Tao Te Ching book.

Baby steps.

Playing a 33 on 45

2007-02-25T06:27:29Z

I've come to the conclusion I've been living too fast over the past few weeks. I noticed this morning that I was becoming overly critical of everything, and that 60 kmph looked as though I could get out and walk faster. I have so many things I want to fit into my day and I make myself believe there aren't enough hours in the day. The day is long, and there are many opportunities to experience life. I need to remind myself that in every situation, every moment of living, we are both student and teacher. We must own our actions and choices so that we can be inspiration to others, and know where we are so that we know where we can go to improve. I know what I want to be. I read once of a student of Zen who was asked by his master to describe the cup of tea in the master's hand. The student took the cup from the master, drank it down, and smashed the cup on the ground. The simplest answers are always right there, but I miss them all the time if I can't remain tranquil. That answer was so eloquent and wise and capable, and because it encompasses all those traits and even more, it was so beautiful. I have the highest respect for those people don't offend, but can diagnose your every problem in a way that simply describes the path you are on, so you can take that knowledge and forge another path.

What is important? Am I supposed to spend more time with my family and friends? Should I make more time to improve myself? Am I supposed to volunteer more? What would I have to give? Maybe I should just close myself in a hole somewhere so I can't bother or annoy anyone with my presence anymore. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm just taxing the patience of every person I come into contact with. That no matter how much I care for a person or how noble my intentions are, I can't do anything but ruin an otherwise decent day. Those are the days where I can't be alone enough. Even sound and light and the ground beneath me are company I cannot bear. But other days these same people, that I am convinced long for a way to simply blink me out of all knowledge, shock me beyond all words by telling me I really helped them, or that they really value knowing me. This gets me so confused that I don't know whether I have something to give or not. So what is important?? I guess I am the only one that can answer that question. What is important are those things I choose to make important. As an individual, nothing truly exists, but what my faith and belief make so. What can I give?? Every person survives their challenges and triumphs according to their own specific gifts. What I am is what I am given. What I become is what I have to give. I can help people. I can annoy people too. But sometimes being annoyed can still teach someone something positive. Like maybe that they are playing a 33 on 45. Sometimes maybe even the annoyance isn't given from me but generated by them. Maybe I can be someone else's wakeup call. Are you annoyed after reading this? What's your speed at??

Valentine's Malaise

2007-02-15T05:39:19Z

I have read blogs and spoken to guys I work with about Valentine's Day. I have felt a growing feeling of loathing for this holiday as a result. Ads for Valentine jewelry and other trappings of consumerism likewise cling to every medium like parasites. To be honest, I would feel better if I was unattached in the face of today and all its hype. I don't want to build a relationship on anything but respect and mutual attaction. I don't want to feel pressured by consumerist dogma, but I do! I can't blame anyone but myself though. It is only my own failings and insecurities that create my vulnerability. That is a huge can of worms I won't even think about opening!
I'd like to clarify my dislike of Valentine's Day. It doesn't come from a fully rounded hatred of holiday consumerism, because buying Christmas presents is actually a guilty pleasure of mine. My dislike rises from the whole precieved "if you love me you have to prove it" attitude hovering over the entire day. Fuck that. My affection may not always be worn on my sleeve, and dates on the calendar don't chose my urgings to make them so.
This Valentine's Day is done. When I wake up tomorrow it will merely be Thursday, not some mutated consumer-driven abomination causing anxiety to couples and shame to singles. Thursday, February 15. If I feel like it, I will call someone and tell them how much I care about them. Just because I do.

Victoria In January

2007-01-30T01:06:00Z

I went to Victoria this past weekend and it was a grand time. I'm happy to have finally seen the sea. "Briny" always used to be just a word with a dictionary meaning and now at last I understand its substance. My friend Janine showed me all the beauty of downtown, and some of the surrounding towns and countryside. I'm already decided on going back this summer to check out the sea in summer, the wineries and the breweries, and drive through the countryside (perhaps a convertable will be in order for the full effect).
I took a tonne of pix, mostly of scenery, so I'm sure everyone who has been there (and I'm sure it IS everyone who has been there) has seen the sights already. I was especially enamoured with one particular view of the breakwater not far from where Janine lives. The mountains across the water appear to be floating on the air because the fog and cloud that encircles their footings are the same colour as the sky above the mountains. I took many pictures of that scene, I hope they do it some justice.
It was chilly only when the sea wind built up strength on Sunday afternoon. The rest of the time I wore only a light jacket and a t-shirt underneath. I bought some clothes for Saturday night in Victoria. Janine picked them out for me, so I could look good when she introduced me to her friends and co-workers.
Janine hangs out with some pretty neat people. I hit it off pretty good with her friend Steve since we share a similar appreciation of good beer. I also got to meet Rob who describes himself as the "Scotty" of the HMCS Vancouver. He's kind of a quiet dude, or I would have been asking him about ship engines and stuff all night. Rob's wife Cara is a stunning beauty with a wonderful way of keeping the good spirits flowing. I can see why she's one of Janine's closest friends.
Of course they were all very cognisant of the fact I am from Alberta. "We don't have any bars that play country music here, is that going to be okay?" I think I heard that from all of theme at least once. I guess they view us all as rednecks, but none of them were the stereotypical pot-smoking hippy. But there ARE hippies there, and they were out in force at the little cafe we went to for breakfast on Saturday. It was kind of neat to see so many "free spirits" congregated into one place.
Next time I go I'd like to go for a least a week to really get a feel for the place. And pictures. Definately more pictures.

Life moves quick!

2007-01-26T17:59:38Z

I can't believe how much stuff I've done in the past two weeks! This last week especially. I'm home right now because I worked from 7:00 pm to 2:30 in the morning at the Mundare Sausage House after working a 9.5 hour shift in the day.
I've begun to wonder if I truly am a workaholic. I don't really need to do the work to feel fulfilled or valid, but I do feel like I'm wasting time and resources if I'm not doing something productive. Maybe it's just that I worry too much about all the chores and such that I have, or maybe it's some quasi-protestant doctrine about "idle hands are the devil's playground". Regardless, I feel like I'm not getting the chance to be with the people that are important to me often enough. To those people who will read this: I miss you and think of you often. I am always aware that I am gifted with knowing many interesting and very great people. And I value every visit I share with you. <sigh> Well, back at it.

Darren

Can you hear me now?

2007-01-12T01:53:21Z

I am consistently amazed at my own lack of computer knack. Regardless, THIS IS MY BLOG!! QUIVER IN YOUR COMPUTER CHAIR AT ITS OSTENTATIOUS BRILLIANCE!!! Okay, so maybe it's more like "sit up straight in your computer chair and try to stay awake." This will be my forum for expression: movie reviews, deep thoughts I think I thunked, maybe even stuff I got to do that was really cool. Tune in once in a while, and maybe there might be something you like!

On The AIRWAVES!!

2006-12-31T04:46:48Z

GOOD DAY Welcome to my blog. Thank you for taking the time to check it out.